


broken home

by boxofnothing



Category: Original Work
Genre: Arson, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Broken Families, Divorce, Moving On, OC, Original Character(s), Pain, Songfic, broken home, overcoming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 20:53:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14340696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxofnothing/pseuds/boxofnothing
Summary: It was never a home to her. It was always just a house. A place to sleep at night.





	broken home

**Author's Note:**

> So I have been going through a hard time lately and I woke up feeling a lot better this morning and for the first time in a while really wanted to share something with the world.
> 
> So I don't really expect this to go anywhere but I really need to share part of this piece of me. But let me provide a little explanation as to what exactly it is.
> 
> For close to four years I have been crafting this life for a set of characters that has evolved as I have. It originally started as a fic for How to Train Your Drago but because this does not actually have any of the characters referenced by name in it I chose not to tag this particular scene with the fandom. It started out as a really sweet Hiccstrid fic and then slowly started focusing on their children more and more. I actually see a lot of myself in each of the characters I created.
> 
> Now this story may seem REALLY out of context but it was the best scene I could find that could sort of be read as a standalone. So to give a little background this story is focusing on Carly as she revisits her childhood house after her parents finally got a divorce. Carly is the daughter of Scott and Heather Jorgenson who are actually Snotlout and Heather from How to Train Your Dragon. She did not have a happy home life and it actually caused a large number of problems in her life for her emotionally.
> 
> Now I hope you all enjoy this scene as the scene was based on the song Broken Home by 5SOS. If you have any questions or want more clarifications on the storyline beyond this scene I am happy to share.
> 
> M

My heels click on the worn wood floor.

How did I end up back here again? Just thinking about it always brings back the hauntings for back then. Just the memories.

The fighting.

The screaming. Maybe not really between them but between us.

Ugh, almost all my memories of this house are of us fighting. Mainly, me trying to get my share. Me, trying to be loved and appreciated. Me, trying to be noticed.

I carefully walk through the front foyer and into the living room. The entire house was empty. There was no furniture. Not the couch I remember was there for almost my entire childhood. I remember spilling my grape juice on one of the cushions and then flipping it over so they wouldn’t know I had been drinking on the couch. I was only 9 and they already terrified me. And I was already spending time alone in the house.

They used to have a lot of pictures on the mantle above the chimney. ‘Happy’ memories mom always used to call them. They weren’t really happy. Just deceptively happy. The pictures that show a split second of a memory but don’t really show the day in reality.

For the longest time, my art from my first art show sat on the mantle. It was like a constant reminder of the pain they always made me feel. But maybe the chimney itself held worse memories than the art.

Right there next to it. That was where I sat and prayed for the first time in my life. The memory flashes by.

  
_I was so upset. They had missed it again. I didn’t really care that they missed the concert because Aunt Astrid was there and she taped it and you can’t get in the auditorium after the concert actually starts but this. You can show up at any time to an art show._

  
_It’s an art show. My first art show and I wanted them to be there._

  
_They knew it was today too. I told them this morning before I left for school. ‘I’m going home with Lexi to get ready for the show tonight. Her mom bought us some special makeup for tonight so it can be extra special._

They say that they are so proud of me, yet why do they not show up or really show that they care.

I walk through the living room and into the kitchen. I quickly walk through the kitchen, looking but not really searching for anything. The kitchen was where everything went wrong.

  
_“Carly, they did nothing wrong.” I can’t believe it. I still can’t believe it. They stand up there and_ willingly _defend them. I just- I just can’t do it anymore. I j- I just can’t anymore. I have nothing but hate for them. How do they just keep tossing me down every single fucking time I try to stand back up._

  
_“I hate you,” I said in a low voice._

  
_“What?”_

  
_“I said I hate you! I hate you both!” I screamed at them._

  
_“Carly, you don’t mean that.” My mom said._

  
_“Yes! Yes, I do! I don’t want to live in a house that doesn’t allow me to ever actually win! Ever! I can’t even win at a fucking board game in this fucking house! It’s always, ‘You have to let them win Carly’ or ‘Their just little kids Carly’ or, my favorite, ‘Carly, we can’t drive you to your awards ceremony because the boys have a soccer game that we_ can’t miss _’! They always come first! I want to come first sometimes! I’m your DAUGHTER, yet you don’t treat me like it!” I was crying now but I didn’t care. They finally knew how I felt. Maybe they’ll make a_ turn around _. But I know they won’t. They’re just going to make up some excuse. Like they always do._

  
_“We do not do that.” Both of them said._

  
_“Yes, you do and I’m tired of it. I’m leaving.” I said and started to walk towards the front door._

Yet the marks on the door frame show that they actually cared about their kids. But there were only two sets of marks, not three But even the two turns to one in the end. Everything in this house was so fucking deceptive. At first glance, someone would think they really care. That they’re great parents. That they really love their kids.

But they truly only love one now. They used to love both of them but one wasn’t what they wanted so they stopped caring about him too.

I passed through the door into the family room, where we were not a real family. Just four people that cared about each other and a girl out of place. I just didn’t fit into what they wanted. I never belonged here.

I headed back into the foyer to where the stairs upstairs were. I placed my hand on the banister and found the long scratch I had made when I was 12 down the banister with a pair of scissors. I run my finger along the line as I make my way up the stairs.

Again the walls and the hallway is bare. They don’t wear all of Ben and Kyle’s artwork or photos or anything. I walk past my parents' room and the bathroom and the boys' room and find myself standing in front of my bedroom door/ The last time I was standing in front of this door was with Astrid, getting ready to start my life over.

  
_“Ok, so, we leave the large furniture that I already have in the room. But if there are any special chair and stuff we should take those. Everything else is coming with us.” Astrid says._

  
_“We have about 5 hours until they come home. They should be home around 6 because the twins have a soccer game and mom and dad never miss those. Ever.” I sarcastically add._

I push the door open and walk in. It looks exactly the same as I last saw it except they took out the bed and desk. The small scribble in the corner when I just couldn’t take it anymore was still there. Or maybe they just didn’t know it existed. The room was an extremely dark shade of purple.

I could still see the small scorch mark on the floor of my bedroom floor from when I thought of lighting the house on fire. I wanted out so bad. I hated this place so much but at the last second, I thought what if.

  
_What if it changes?_

  
_What if it gets better?_

  
_What if I die in this house?_

  
_What if it actually burns and I have to live in close quarters with them?_

  
_What if this makes it worse rather than better?_

  
_I can’t do it. I just can’t. I can’t burn my house down. It’s arson and it’s illegal. I am not that desperate to get out of here._

  
_I quickly get up and grab a towel from my hamper and pat the black mark with the towel and some water. I pull up the towel to reveal a black mark on the floor._

  
_Shit, they’re gonna find out now. I look around my room and see the rug across the room. I pull it over and carefully cover the mark._

I got up from kneeling on the floor and brushed off my jeans. Maybe I could go up on the roof like back in the day. But I’m wearing heels. And what if someone sees me. I don’t live here anymore and I don’t need people to know that I’m back in town.

I don’t need my secret to come out.

I head back out of the room and carefully shut my door like I did when I lived here. I never needed something else to make them hate me more than they already did.

I made my way back down the hallway and stairs. I swiftly walked back to the front door, reaching for the doorknob. I was about to wrench the door open when I looked back.

“I beat you.” I call into the house, “I won. I got out and you can’t haunt me anymore.”

And then without a second thought, I pull open the door and slam it shut. I am never coming back here ever again. I made peace with this shithole now and I am done with that part of my life now.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this. This is the first time I have shared any part of this story that has been gestating for close to 4 years besides my friend Rainy who knows the whole story or at least most of it. I am happy to share any more information and answer any questions if you have any regarding MSI (which is the working title for the story).
> 
> M


End file.
